Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I want to scream. I want to beat my fists against this rage inside me. The injustice of fathers and sometimes mothers who beat their children into some sort of twisted submission just because they can. And these baby victems grow up to be adult disfunctional codependent abusers. its to late to take them in my arms and heart and make the pain go away. They embrace it like some wonderous comfort. its a place so familure to them that they think it is in their twisted minds, normal.I cannot fight this wave.. yet the anger builds in me because some realize they have a choice to stop the pain.. to stop spreading this twisted immoral intorralable irrational love hate control senario. And they dont even try. others are so broken in spirit, so twisted in reality they cant even beging to change with out help. I hate this painting.. well hate is a strong word. I dont hate it really.. its just not beautiful and asteticly pleaseing to me. And as I write this i suddenly understand why. Its because all I am feeling right now exploded on to the canvas. Futility is right. I can change nothing. I can change no person. I can only comfort those who are left in the wake of the devistation and pray and hope they will see the warning signs next time and flee with all thye have before next time its not treats and a beating.. but death that is the result.